Our INNER CHILD is pretty darn smart... they are trying to keep us SAFE!

It might not be completely obvious to you (yet), but your Inner Child has really good reasons for doing whatever it is she or he does...

Even if and when it feels frustrating.  Like self-sabotage.  Or patterns of perfectionism.  Maybe that Inner Child seems to interrupt or even prevent having a healthy relationship.  Or run a successful business.  Or get up on stage and share your awesomeness.

Your Inner Child has a really, REALLY good reason.

And until we stop to listen, and really HEAR the reason... Well, they are likely to keep having a bit of a tantrum until we stop and listen.  They are kids after all!

Journal Prompt:

Assuming my Inner Child has a GOOD reason
For my patterns, what are these reasons?


(this is a free-writing prompt - check the resource links below for an article that helps to explain the how and the why of free-writing)

They are usually acting and reacting based on the #1 goal of all of us humans - that is to survive.  And as a child, any type of threat is a threat to our very existence - our SAFETY.  

For children, there is no distinction between emotional and physical 'safety' - and anything that threatens our emotional bonds with our caregivers... Well, that threatens our safety and survival, right?

As a child, any situation where we feel unsafe, IS unsafe.  
No judgement.  Just truth.​

​Which explains ALL KINDS OF PATTERNS.  Like people-pleasing ('if I do what they like/makes them happy, I'll be okay").  Perfectionism ("if I do it the way they like it/perfect, I'll be okay").  Self-sabotage ("If I stay small, THEY will be okay").  This is over-simplified - but honestly, simplicity is often best.  There are whole textbooks on this stuff if you want to learn more.  For now, I know you get the idea.

So you see, every pattern we created was created as an adaptive way to survive, cope... and stay safe.

Example:
Susan was an accomplished pianist.  She played in orchestras all around the world.  But it wasn't always that way.  For many years, even the idea of playing piano in front of any audience was near impossible.  Even small local performances involved her getting sick or feeling anxious for days before.  Her greatest dream was to play piano professionally.  But the fear of performing almost paralyzed her.  When looking at this fear as a 'safety' issue - Susan asked herself something she had never thought about before: "How is this fear of playing in front of large audiences keeping me safe?".  In doing so, she was able to track this fear back to an experience at 6 years old when she watched a young musician fall off the stage at the local high school and break his leg.  At that age, that experience created a belief that "performing in front of large audiences risks severe danger".  Once she could identify this as the source, and identify the limiting belief "performing in front of groups is dangerous", she could acknowledge the Inner Child part, and work on staying grounded in her adult body.  Staying in her current age and body, meant she was no longer  getting triggered by a subconscious fear.  


Often our patterns of adult relationships, problem solving and even business is influenced by  outdated 'rules of safety' that made sense as a child, but no longer make sense as an adult.  We learned what we knew at the time. Unless we identify that and choose to learn something new, nothing will change.

​Journal Prompt:

What are the patterns I am ready to
release now, because I AM SAFE?


You're doing amazing!  And if you've gotten this far, you are going to have already learned a LOT about yourself, and hopefully have an new understanding of yourself and your patterns.  

Maybe you can find some forgiveness in your heart for your Inner Child (aka YOURSELF)?

Because, you see, our Inner Child really is ALWAYS acting in our best interest (even if it has little childish and outdated ways of showing it). 

It's important to let these parts know that you appreciate their efforts, and you FORGIVE THEM for any ‘mistakes’. Because you now understand that its intentions have always been pure and LOVING. (Check out the article link below on the Ho'oponopono - a beautiful forgiveness practice).

You've done the work.  Really faced your patterns, fears and have an understanding of how these 'Child Parts' have been sabotaging us simply to keep us safe.  You're so READY FOR THE GUIDED MEDITATION...

Much love and gratitude ~

Resources for this lesson

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