We've all been there. Overwhelmed by life's challenges. Maybe we have taken on more than we can handle right now. Maybe we have responsibilities we can't avoid. Perhaps we are so burnt out that the last time we felt clear about anything was when we were 5 years old and knew with absolute certainty that we just HAD to have that blue popsicle...
Thinking about what we 'should' or 'could' be doing to get ourselves out of this funk is just one more thing to do. One more reason to blame ourselves for what we're not doing, how we're not feeling.
Don't worry. This is not about blame. Not at all. Because blame doesn't motivate (which explains why bitching at ourselves doesn't ever result in positive action or lasting change).
Instead, lets simply look at the habits of highly successful people... Because the great thing about a habit is the fact that anybody can acquire them - they are simply acquired patterns of thought and behavior!.
Healthy habits of thinking and behavior = Healthy Mojo!
We are naturally inclined to think about how we appear to others. But for some, the fear of criticism or judgement can almost be crippling. This fear gets in the way of creative thought and action, and restricts the easy flow of energy and purpose.
Notice what it is you want to do, and then take the necessary steps do it. Simple.
(Obviously, we are talking about things that do not negatively impact other people).
If you feel frozen at the mere idea of just 'doing it' - start small. If you feel like getting up to dance to that amazing song that just started playing - do it! People might look, but chances are you will make someone smile with your courage, creativity and fabulous (good OR bad) dance moves. Or - wear something hot pink if that's your favorite color. Start by wearing hot pink socks if you're not ready to rock a hot-pink double-breasted suit. Notice how doing so makes you feel. Chances are you will grin every time you catch sight of those socks as you go about your day.
Wallowing in shame or guilt about something you did or said is not useful. There are limited times where feeling guilty or shameful is useful - and those times are when you've actually done something to feel guilty or shameful about.
Other than that, those types of feelings are limiting and suffocating. They cause us to avoid situations and people for no other reason than to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings.
If you have done something bad or shameful, then apologize. Sincerely. Make amends.
And then Let It Go.
Would you keep berating a child for making a mistake because they lacked the knowledge to make a better decision? No? Then stop doing it to yourself. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
Indecision and Procrastination are simply fear in disguise.
Successful people do new things, try new things, and make mistakes. Of course they do so feeling some amounts of fear! But they choose to do it anyway.
If you have a hard time making a decision and taking action, then look at where fear could be sabotaging your success. Get help identifying and releasing those fears (they are often difficult to simply ignore, especially if they are rooted in limiting beliefs about ourselves).
Successful people feel empowered in most situations. Even if they do not have the answer, they know they can find it - or find the person who can help them get it.
Blaming others for our failures might help us feel vindicated in the short term - but ultimately it is a way of literally handing over our own sense of power to another person or situation. And when we hand over our power, we hand over the part that can be successful.
Successful people own their success and their mistakes. You learn a lot from your success, but much much more from your mistakes. When you can adopt the mindset that every mistake is an opportunity to learn and overcome, you are well on your way to personal success!
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When we live in the worries about the future or the regrets, guilt or shame of the past, we are not living in the present. Successful people have clear goals which they work towards very consciously every. Single. Day.
When we fall into the trap of what-if's and anxiety, we are unable to accomplish the tasks necessary in order to set, work toward and achieve goals. Similarly, if we are stuck in the past, wallowing over regrets, stuck in fears, past experiences or limiting beliefs, we also feel that our progress is a case of '1 step forward, 3 steps back'.
Successful people practice mindfulness and gratitude daily. You might not be sure what mindfulness or gratitude could look like in your life - don't fret. It can be as simple as taking 5 conscious breaths, writing in a journal, learning to say 'Thank You', volunteering, and/or recognizing your abundance. What ever it is for you, start doing it - today. (You can thank me later 😉
Tanya Tinney is a mom of three beautiful girls (including fraternal twins), wife of an amazing entrepreneurial man, nature lover, wrangler of two large dogs and chaser of three bad cats. She is equally good at baking banana bread and whipping up a killer margarita. Her passion is helping fabulous people get unstuck from their past so they can blast through current challenges and get really stuck into achieving their dreams. With three University degrees and 14 years experience working as a psychologist, most of the time she knows what she's talking about. The rest of the time she 'wings it' based on her own messy life experiences. Her approach is one of laser focus, empathy and intuition with a healthy dose of humor - along with a kick-in-the-you-know-what when necessary (and it often is!).